Honest DADA Interview
by Nyx9219
Summary: What if the school teachers had to interview for their jobs, they had regular salary and leave policies? And what if Dumbledore had a school board to answer to? A funny one shot, set after the third year at Hogwarts.


A/N: Hey guys, this is a fun story, so i urge to not critically analyze Dumbledore's character traits as they are a little bit different form the actual one. And I don't own the character of Professor Dumbledore, but I do own the other character. So, enjoy reading and review, favorite and follow for more fun stories like this one.

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DADA-Honest Job Interview

Hogwarts had already gotten enough bad press to last a lifetime. I mean, hiring a werewolf as a defense against the dark arts teacher! What was Dumbledore thinking? The school board was beyond furious. And so was the ministry of magic. Escape of Sirius Black was the last nail in the coffin. So many parents were withdrawing admission form the school, that for the first time since it's opening, the school was not breaking even. And Rita Skeeter had just made matters worse. The daily prophet has some nasty articles about Hogwarts in the past few months. All said and done, things were looking bad for Hogwarts.

The school board wanted to make sure that the new DADA teacher was someone with a mellow background. So they took it upon themselves to perform a background check and shortlist some candidates for the final interview. Following is one and the only interview that took place before Mad Eye Moody accepted Dumbledore's long standing invitation to be the DADA teacher at Hogwarts and was hired for the job.

The candidates were to be chosen by the school board from the hundreds of resumes received by them. But in a pursuit to find a teacher with absolutely no bad track record, this resume is the only one that stood out...The interview went about as follows...

* * *

A meek little man walked in the office, almost too scared to be there for the interview. He was clearly hoping to not get the job, or at least get it without having to perform any magic at all. As he walks in the room, fear evident in his eyes, Dumbledore greets him,

"Hello Mr. -"

"Mr. Jijilabe, Robert Jijilabe..."

"Hello mr. Jiji-? Wait! Jiji-what what?"

"Jee-jee-la-bee!"

"Jee-la-JEE-bi?"

"Noooo! It's- Chuck it! Call me Rob"

"Whew! Thanks for that. Hello Rob. You are here for the interview, I presume... Do you have a resume for me?"

"Yes. Of course!", he says as he takes out a paper from his man-purse.

"So, your resume seems impressive...two years of training with the bowtruckles...can perform an impressive disarming charm...really nice...", Dumbledore says, sarcasm evident in his voice.

"So how do you like the school? You had a tour right?"

"I went to this school!"

"Oh! Did you now? When did you pass your newts?"

"1977! You were my teacher! "

"1977? Eh-

Honestly now! Do you expect me to remember the names of all the students that I have ever taught? And I would , if you were say, Harry Potter, or even Voldemort. But seriously, I don't even recall your face!"

"Are you mocking me?"

"No! No! Why would I? You are our only-"

"Only what?"

"Nothing...Impressive resume! You seem to have achieved a lot at a really young age...So..."

"So-?"

"Why do you want this job so much?"

"I am in between jobs right now you see. I was not allowed to be an auror. They thought I was too skinny and lacked the knowledge needed..."

"Did they now? Ah! Mr. Rob! The extent the ministry would go to hire a hunk for the job..."

"Sir?- "

"Oh...nothing! So yes, coming back to my question...why do you want the job?"

"Um...I was not getting anything and this is the only interview call that I got...so..."

"So basically Hogwarts is your last option?" (Dumbledore smiles softly, in a sort of evil way)

"Well, I wouldn't put it quite that way...I can go back to my previous job...the pay will be a little low, but I may be able to make things work..".

"You are digressing...what do you look forward to after getting this job..."

"Honestly, I didn't think I would get a call...I mean, you have had some pretty good teachers before this...I mean Quirrell, Lockhart, Lupin... So I didn't really think this through...All were so much more qualified than me...and famous...So I thought I'll never get a call back..."

Now, Dumbledore really needed to please the board for once. And so he couldn't afford to reject

"Ah...don't undermine yourself thus. You are apt for the job."

"Yes, whatever. I have to make things work. So what's salary? I mean we have to discuss that as well right?"

"Oh yes, of course! It will be 200 galleons a month. You would receive a Christmas bonus and 2 paid leaves per month. But, none of the other teachers take any leaves so, I assume you shall do the same?"

"Ummm...yes...I guess I could do that."

"And you shall live in the castle in the staff quarters. The rent will be deducted from your monthly salary and there will be a deduction for the pay as well."

Now Mr. Jijilabe appeared visibly frustrated.

"I accept the shitty pay, I even accepted the 'no leaves' policy! But these deductions? Seriously? How do you think I can manage with such less money? I have a family to look after! And a child to feed!"

"Ah! That's a unique predicament. None of the other teachers are married or have families. They just stay at the castle and hence, any money that they receive is a bonus. And don't blame me for the budget cuts. I have a board to answer to. The children aren't coming to Hogwarts. Their parents are not sending them here because of the bad press. And the revenue had declined so much, that the board has had to make cuts in my annual socks budget!"

"What the hell! Your socks budget?! Are you seriously more concerned with your socks than my family?", he said now visibly irritated.

No, of course not. I wouldn't say that. But, I have to tell you, the budget is real. As real as Voldemort.

Wait, didn't Voldemort die?

Yes. of course he did...Harry Potter killed him. Dumbledore says with a smirk.

"Wait, Voldemort! yeah! I remember now, i was planning to ask this... Didn't he interview for this post also? And didn't he jinx the position after you rejected him?"

"That was a long time ago...And I did reject him, but he didn't jinx the position. You should really stop believing everything that Rita Skeeter writes..."

"You say that, but how can I ignore the fact that all the previous teachers have not lasted even a year, with the exception of Quirrel. I wonder what happened there?"

"See, it's not true. The jinx. You said so yourself. Quirrel died under mysterious circumstances, and it was investigated by the ministry. It was inconclusive. Lockhart was a lying pig and Lupin turned out to be a warewolf. You see, this is why we want someone with a clear track record."

Mr. Jijilabe was now seriously considering the pros against the cons of taking the Job. The veins were popping out on his forehead as he was thinking hard. After all, this can't be an easy decision to make, can it?

"Rob, we have really less time on our hands. I have told you all that is to know. And you need to make a decision right away."

"Sir, I understand that you are on a schedule. But, if I may, I would request you to grant me one day to think. This is a really hard decision to make!"

"That seems reasonable. But, we will need a reply by tomorrow night, otherwise your candidature for this post will be in serious jeopardy. Send us an owl with your reply and the further details shall be communicated to you."

* * *

Dumbledore never heard from this particular gentleman. But, months later, there was a small article in the Daily Prophet informing the world about the unfortunate death of a certain Mr. Jijilabe, and the unfortunate circumstances in which the body could be recovered after months search in one of the muggle morgues, labelled as John Doe. In the mean time, Mad Eye Moody, who had rejected the job on several occasions mysteriously accepted it and became the DADA teacher at Hogwarts. The events that followed are known to the wizarding world as the time when Lord Voldemort returned.


End file.
